It's Over

Things kind of went wild today, on the Poppa front, and it's over for me with the funding. Long story, but it's over and done with. I'm no longer a cat wrangler.

This may be last post for awhile. I am anticipating possible power outages. I had not been home long and was preparing to give food, and most importantly, water to the homeless camp cats, when rain began. It instantly froze and formed sheets of ice so that I can't even walk across the driveway, let alone think of driving on it.

The cats are probably starved, freezing and dehydrated. I have been unable to get over there to provide water that doesn't freeze immediately. Makes me worry for them and sad, too. I intend to get any survivors out of there somehow some way when I get property owner permission. But I don't know if any have survived this horrible weather. The lack of water is the hardest thing for them.

The Morning After

Christmas Tree

I got a Christmas tree. This made the cats super happy! Their plans: climb it, chew on it, drink its water, sleep under it, knock it over if possible, tear off the lights, use the ornaments as cat toys and look innocent every morning.

I'm glad I got it up because I love twinkley bright lights and ornaments. To avert catastrophe this year, I have outsmarted the cats. I have it tied off in three directions. I'd like to see how those cats can possibly knock it over this year.

It's still cold here. Very cold. Likely it is not as cold as the eastern part of the country I hear.

The Corvallis couple came over after I went and got the tabby kitten from the Lebanon folk trying to find her a home. I got their two adult females fixed on Tuesday. They have three kittens, one of whom they want to place. KATA was going to take her, but when Jim and his wife expressed interest after reading about her on the blog, I thought "man this is a great home for that little girl," and went over to get her.

She is a little darling and her first name is "Angel", but that couple's cats get lots of names. They adopted Whisper Willow, from Spicer Red colony from me a year or maybe it was two years ago.

I was glad it all worked out, for the Lebanon people, the kitten and for Jim and his wife. One kitten in a great home tonight!

Walmart Coming to Albany

Guess I'm not jumping up and down at the news. Am I the only one in the world who thinks they're not very cheap? I saw that in regard to two items: cat food and human food. Their human food choice is very limited and the price is not affordable, at least not for me. Their cat food prices at the Lebanon store are so high I don't bother checking anymore. They are more reasonable at the Salem store. In Lebanon they might be higher on everything because there is virtually no competition.

But their food prices are not competitive and the food they stock is, to be blunt, crap processed food, for the most part. I guess there's not much difference there with most supermarkets these days. Most of the food is what I call "fake".

I still like Winco, for prices, and for their employee owned store concept and better paid employees. If you're pinching every dime, I wouldn't shop at Walmart for food. It'd be stupid.

So Walmart is coming to Albany. Well, I have no opinion on it because I don't care. I'll still food shop elsewhere. I'll wait to see if they are in the least competitive on cat food before I make a decision that way. I think there might be enough big box stores in this town already. There's Freddies, Rite Aid, Bimart, Kmart, Target, Costco, then all the office type box stores. There's a Ross. There just seem to be a zillion big chain stores in town, one for every resident I think sometimes. I don't shop any of them, except I go to Home Depot for home repair type things and cat litter. The rest are too expensive for me.

If I ever get new jeans, I get them at Kmart, because they're cheaper at Kmart than at Walmart, when on sale. I don't buy much to be honest, except cat food, litter, trapping supplies, home repair type supplies and food for myself. That's about it.

They will offer employment, sure, but it's not family wage job employment. It's welfare to work type wages, or people wanting part time work to supplement their retirement. Walmart coming to Albany cannot include a celebration for family wage jobs because Walmart doesn't provide family wage jobs. That's why I wish it was a Winco not a Walmart coming in. A lot of people in town really wish for a Winco here.

However, I hope they have one huge grand opening sale that includes really low down prices on cat food. I can hope!

I must admit, it's a good fit for the population here. Plus they'll draw in a crowd from Corvallis. However, the Lebanon Walmart will lose business as a result. Who is going to drive up to Lebanon Walmart when they can jump off the freeway and get to the Albany one?

Black Pearl and Toby

Another yard stray but I think this one is owned across the street. I'm not sure, however. He's huge but I think neutered. Not sure on that either. The cat has been around since I've lived here and a neighbor pointed out the house where he supposedly belongs. Maybe I should not have taken that person's word as absolute. The cat is limping badly with a swollen left front foot.

The cat puts no weight on that left front leg and there is a noticeable swelling halfway up.
This is him.
He really never comes into my yard. Today was an exception.
Lebanon adult female, fixed yesterday.
Young adult torti, from Lebanon, fixed yesterday.
The Lebanon torti again.
Three orange kittens were abandoned in Albany, who fortunately were crying outside some kind folks' house, who put them in a camp trailer, since it is so brutally cold out. All three, two orange tabby boys and one orange tabby girl, were fixed yesterday.
The orange tabby little girl fixed yesterday.

Toby and his mom, Black Pearl, are spoken for, but still alone in the spare bedroom, and bored! Today I put harnesses on both, matching harnesses and will try to harness train them.

Unknown

The unknown looms. Poppa funding will soon end. I felt tonight like telling them to just end it the first of the year. I don't know why. I suppose to end the suspense, the agony of it. Also, because I am reminded that Poppa does not exist to fund me. I know that. I've appreciated their help so much.

I only told Poppa's President how much it will affect my life, when it ends, just because I needed to tell someone, talk to someone about my fears over the end of it, the 'what am I going to do' part, that eats at me.

I don't have anyone to talk to, to pour my heart out to, about my fears when I have to find someone else to be. Someone other than the cat woman, the cat trapper. I will change my phone number, take down my website. I know those things I will have to do, to keep from getting calls and e-mail inquiries I cannot respond to.

I don't know what I'll do, to be honest, to fill my days, to find any human contact, to have reason to leave the house. I'm thinking of any options I can. I will have to deconstruct my identity, at least temporarily.

And find a new one. But here?

I know many newly unemployed people are going through such things too right now. I know I'm lucky to even have a roof over my head. Don't think I don't know that, or appreciate what I have.

I can say I will move, to somewhere my skills might have use, but I have no money to move. I want to move, but that doesn't mean I can find a way to make it happen. I know I can't stay sane doing nothing.

I have been looking for some other way to constructively use my time, that is meaningful. I have gone through lists of organizations that seek volunteers and have not found a match for me. In this county, a lot of the volunteer options are Christian organizations and I just don't fit with that.

I have decided one thing I will do is get in shape. This summer, I will engage in things to do that and I'm looking forward to it. It won't be here in Linn County, but, if my car is still running, I will do things I've not done in decades. That is one thing I have determined to do. I will finish the book I began and submit it and see if that goes anywhere. I've been writing it in spare time and it just needs some finishes and editing.

But writing doesn't support a person unless you end up with a big hit. I'm on disability, and if I got a few thousand for a book, it would not be enough to support myself for part of year, but might get me kicked off disability, leaving me in worse shape. I'm trying to think of some solution for myself.

I'm at that age, mid fifties.

Well, anyhow. I don't what to do anymore. The world seems so cold and it actually is very cold here, down near 10 degrees. The homeless camp in Corvallis where I've been getting cats fixed, is being shut down and the people kicked out.

I just found this out and it is coloring my attitude tonight. I worry very much about a couple of the homeless I've come to have an affection for and what they will do. See, they are really nice to me, more so than maybe most people. I know the hard life the woman in particular has endured and I don't know what she will do.

She can't make it in a shelter, like I never could. Too much drama, too many people with severe issues, too crowded, no privacy.

It's like there's no place for stray cats or stray people. They're considered fair game for any atrocities and hardships and they're just like everybody else.

Speed died night before last. That's the homeless man written about as found dead, in the paper. His real name is Patrick. He used to live in the camp over there, where the cats are, but see they posted signs and they're evicted. The cops posted the signs I found out tonight. It was over two weeks ago I first saw the signs. I've been trying to find out for two weeks what was going on.

I found out who the property owner is and thought it was the husband of this woman who works with the disabled over in Corvallis, whom I know, with the same last name. I called her, but it wasn't her husband who owns the company who owns the property, but she knows the woman who runs that company who owns it.

She said she'd call her and talk to her but I haven't heard yet. I heard back from a homeless advocate who dropped me off to trap a couple times. She tries to help the campers there and other places. She was the one who found out the property had been posted and they're supposed to leave, but she doesn't know if it was the cops who posted or the property owner. Big difference. Cops posting notices on private property isn't really legal. It's not their property to post. So likely it was the property owners.

She's going to find out for sure and let me know. Might be a week before I find out. I see the faces of the cats out there. It's just hard. I think people should care more about lives, like the homeless people there and the cats struggling so. But people don't and it seems just so darn cold when I think about it.

Since it is posted I'd have to have permission from the owner to enter and trap now or I could be arrested. Bottom line is, once again I have about 16 homeless camp cats that I need to retrap and place. I'll try to get permission to do so. If not, I'll have to trap on public property for them which will take so much longer and be very hard.

That's how I came to help the strays, because I was one myself. I knew what they went through.

I wish had a magic wand lots of times and this is one of them. I wish I could grant those campers over there a place where they would not be hassled, where they could be warm and live out their lives and the cats they love could be with them, fixed and fed and warm, too. That's what I wish. I wish very much I could do that.

I'm bummed tonight, probably due to tiredness, but it's a combination of things. One is the lost calico those people lost when moving, the one rescued from that Clover Ridge situation. Those cats seemed doomed, cursed.

Another is the homeless camp thing.

Another is the looming end of funding and my identity gone with the funding. I feel like such a loser tonight, like such a free loader. Even of Poppa funds. I should have helped raise more funds for Poppa. I did try and I did secure the three grants from Albany for Poppa at least, but I know it wasn't much.

Then there are the people I helped get over a dozen cats fixed, who kept my trap to catch one last kitten. And now, they don't answer their phone and they still have my trap and I don't know what to do. I've left three messages over the last ten days and they don't call back. What to do about getting my trap back now. It's been almost a month since I last saw them.

Five Cats Being Fixed Today

Five cats are up being fixed today. Two are adult females from Lebanon. One is more like in her late teens. The people have two kittens, too, leftover from one of the cats' litters. I will weigh them to see if they are two pounds and could then be fixed.

The other three are orange teens, two boys and a girl, dumped on Oak St. in Albany. The couple heard them crying and put them in a trailer for the night because of the sub freezing temps. The man is on some city commission and told the Mayor about the cats dumped there, and she e-mailed me with their number, to see if they can at least be quickly fixed. So they're being fixed.


On the way home, I saw big balls of black and dark gray smoke rolling into the sky off Spicer. It was a house on fire. Seeing a house on fire always makes me think of the people who live there and wonder what they'll do now. Emergency crews had already arrived.