These days it is hard. I am too alone. I look ahead and see nothing but the same--struggles to make it caring for these cats, to feed and clothe and house myself, keep the car running so I can get what I need and possibly escape this freeway sprawled suburb town now and then.
I have the phone now, at least its there, ready, and it was fun at first, but its in the drawer with the others, because I still don't get any calls. The little plastic phone I couldn't even see, it was so tiny, would have been just fine for this person, me, whom no one calls. Ah well....
I still try to find Slinko a home. He would benefit from getting into a good home. No luck there either. Sometimes I wonder if I just think I'm alive, because I travel my world like a ghost unseen.
The experience with the neighbor knocked the wind from my sails. Any thought I had of being liked or respected on this block vanished after that. I knew she thought I was an idiot and sometimes tried to take advantage of me for sport, but the magnitude of the last episode, well I haven't recovered. I avoid her like the plague now.
As for the cats, I need to figure out a product to make and somehow sell, to support them. I don't get donations anymore, except from a handful of people who, it seems, will never stop helping me care for the cats here, if they are able. I have an obligation to them, also, to try to find a way to keep going, something I can make to sell.
But what? What would people buy from me? I'm not crafty. This website is not popular, in fact, it's barely rarely read and so would be unsuitable as a means to market a product should I come up with one. I'll keep trying to come up with an idea for something, then a way to sell it. I have to.
I lay awake at night trying to think of something I could sell, make or a business to start that would support the cats. Or how I would begin without money to begin with.
I walked three miles two days ago and found just one can. Canning will not be my answer. Or much help. Everyone is poor around here and so many people search for cans.
However, an Albany business did donate their cans two weeks ago, which I returned and the total came to just under $23, with which I bought a 25 pound bag of dry cat food. That's amazing that their cans will feed five cats here for a month. I was very pleased and happy.
I have two Reel Mowers I am trying to sell. They don't go for much new, but I hope to sell them. Wrong time of year maybe, have not had one response. But it costs nothing to keep the ad going.
Today, Heartland takes Viktor. He will be devastated. He's weary of being just in my bathroom and now he will be locked in a small cage. I feel very guilty and conflicted over this. But maybe he will get a good home soon. There are so few good homes out there, makes me hang my head to think I will need to delude myself to hope the best for him.
When I took in Viktor, and the other two cats, from the rabbit hoarders, the officer who asked me to take them in, told me there were rabbits again in the rabbit hoarders garage. She was aghast and told me they were told they all had to be gone by that Wednesday, including the cats and the dogs. They'd already removed 200 rabbits and Guinea Pigs.
But when I picked up the cats, I asked how things were going for them, and one of them at the house said lots of her friends had gone to adopt their rabbits, after Safehaven took in the 200 and immediately adopted them out, super cheap and unfixed.
Although the woman said nothing else, given there were rabbits back in the garage, I wondered immediately if those were not some of the same rabbits, previously removed, adopted out fast and furious and almost free and unfixed, and maybe adopted to the rabbit hoarders friends who just handed them right back over to the rabbit hoarder. I wondered that first thing and I still do wonder that.
I still have anger that the cats were left there to suffer. Poor Missy, with mouth and throat cancer, unable to eat without pain, and poor Bootsy, with that horrific awful staff infection all over him. Only Vicktor seemed somewhat healthy of all things alive there. Allegedly there were three dogs there too, ordered to be gone also by last Wednesday. I never saw even one dog.
Well, today is the last day with any sun forecast for at least a week so I'm going to take a walk again. Will take my can bag just in case. Wish me luck. Thank you.